by Del Rey
Edited by Michael Ray De Los Angeles
With the media in a Frenzy over the latest shooting, bombing and political warmongering, this list is a pleasurable shift of attention. These are 4 hit summer reads that you need to get your hands. Arousing titles to boost your sexual experience, and might even give you a few new ideas for the bedroom and beyond. Enjoy.
Moses came down from the mountain with 10 commandments; Dr. Susan M. Block laid the foundation of Bonoboville with the 10 Commandments of Pleasure. This book is a holy grail that can lead you through orgasmic peaks, with waves of pleasure on how to delight, excite, and arouse your partner(s). From fantasies to fetishes, love languages to erotic displays of affection, Dr. Block’s 10 Commandments of Pleasure is peppered with personal narratives, sex acts, and an orgy of ways to stimulate your partner outside of the sheets. This book is an empowering affirmation of our sexual nature, and a revolutionary leap towards better communication between partners, with space for greater gender and sexual fluidity, and an openness towards sexual exploration. 2016 will mark the book’s 20th year, but pleasure is timeless and Dr. Block’s Commandments are more essential today, especially with the rise of social media and digital dating.
The tone of the book is alluring, as sexpert Dr. Susan Block advises the reader to explore the body, to practice safer sex, to tease, to tantalize, to deny, to indulge, to orgasm, to squirt, to listen– Commandment 9 of a Lady’s Pleasure, “Thou Shalt Have Foreplay.” Additionally, there are pearls of wisdom, for instance, in Commandment 6 of a Gentleman’s Pleasure, “mother him, but not smother him,” the lesson is that “you can teach a man to appreciate touch, if you have the patience and feel that he’s worth it. Block words of affirmation, empower the female; a unifying theme throughout the book and a trumpeting venture she continues to this day.
As a whole, the commandments are a guide to improve the quality of your relationships– both sexual and nonsexual; between the lines, the book is humorous, as any great sex story should be, inviting to the reader to explore intimacy outside of the bedroom. Dr. Block weaves together a feminist narrative for the modern age, one that evokes a program of female empowerment through sex and sexuality. She writes, that the woman is “in charge of her fantasies. She’s the head honcho of her life (just as you are of yours). But you can help. You should help, if you want to give her pleasure. Unless she tells you she doesn’t want your help. But if she doesn’t want your help, that’s a pretty clear signal that she doesn’t want you (131).” The advice is blunt, with a subtext of consent and personal boundaries that (although it is directed at heterosexual relationships) is applicable to any relationship. While the book does focus on monogamy, Dr. Block also includes addresses relationship dynamics; threesome, swingers and BDSM communities.
The 10 commandments of pleasure are exactly that, a pleasure. From start to finish the book is a comprehensive look at sexuality, intimacy, and serves as a handy playbook for keeping your monogamous relationship from becoming a monotonous relationship. Unlike her previous book, Advertising for Love, this book, The 10 Commandments of Pleasure, provides erotic keys to thrust a relationship beyond past the first series of dates. While there is some overlap in content between her previous book, Advertising for Love and her subsequent book The Bonobo Way, this is a–sexually liberating– standalone text that is (now its third edition and also available as an audio book). Whether you’re in a swinging, monogamous, polyamorous, heterosexual or homosexual relationship, Dr. Susan M. Block’s The 10 Commandments of Pleasure: Erotic Keys to a Healthy Sexual Life has something for everyone.
On the other hand, her follow-up book the Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace Through Pleasure is a breath of fresh air for our permawar-culture brothers and sisters as international sex expert and Yale graduate Dr. Susan Block, brings the bonobos (Pan Paniscus) to the forefront of her dialogue about peace. The Bonobo Way holds a mirror up to humanity’s lusty affairs with war and violence to show the countless human lives and nonhuman nature affected—with a emphais on the bonobos. Moreover the book’s core message, it is a call to action, a seductive moan from a lover’s ear to put down the war toys and come learn the ways of pleasure.
From the jungles to the bedrooms, this book is an arousing, and downright sexy journey, complete with orgasmic anecdotes, as well as tales of lust, love and relationships built on power exchanges and trust. What is most appealing about this book is the inclusiveness of Dr. Block’s narratives, she provides practical relationship tools– for the monogamous, the polycurious and the full-fledged swinger. The tone of the book is uplifting, and affirming of our sexual nature. The tools she lays out are useful for all relationship dynamics; addressing matters of intimacy, tips for role-play, BDSM and sexual etiquette. Much of the information is laid out in a twelve step guide, “release your inner bonobo.”
The step work itself is a public and private affair, with strategies for cultivating the (somewhat) dormant sensual self, a self which is attuned to primal nature and our “kissing cousins” the bonobos. The anecdotes from Dr. Block’s personal life, along with world news and history, make the step work relatable and add a personal touch to the text. The approach brings the concept of peace through pleasure to life, guiding the reader across this great earth we love to “make love on”, and down a river of ecstasy towards a destination that is, not only picturesque, but achievable–for those willing to do the work of course.
Thanks to its broad range of topics, The Bonobo Way can appeal to a wide audience; from environmental conservationists, animal rights activists and ecological advocates to porn stars, feminists, and military veterans. On a textual level, the book is eco-feminism, with Block’s own environment described in great detail (the bedroom, the Speakeasy, the urban jungle). All the while, her connection to the bonobos is never far from the surface of the text; from Dr. Block’s first glimpse of the bonobos while watching a PBS broadcast, to her first visit with Lana the Bonobo at the San Diego Zoo. She narrates how studying bonobos has helped her develop a greater consciousness of empathy, compassion and sexual awareness. The results of her various states of “bonobo liberation” are disclosed in great detail, with an emphasis on preserving the bonobos who “empower the female” and “never kill each other.”
As a piece of literature, The Bonobo Way deserves a place on a shelf titled Ecosexuality as it is somewhere between a sexual studies and ecological advocacy The push for the preservation of the bonobos, their bioregion, and the call to action to repair our relationship with our “over-farmed and abused mother earth” (83), place this book alongside the works of Mary Hunter Austin the American Southwest writer, and Octavia Butler the science fiction writer for sharp insights on the culture of violence in America. However, the sexual narratives that Dr. Block interweaves throughout the book are akin to the pages of high erotic and are a literary orgasm of escapades, pleasure partiers and much more. The fusion of both the ecological and the sexual is really what defines this book.
All in all, The Bonobo Way is an investment in you your sex life. And at 240 pages it is available in print and eBook– the latter includes full color photos. Other features of the book are Dr. Block’s notes, which vary from “hat tips” to writers and rock stars, to supplemental information on clinical and “scene” terms, as well as vital historical references. Also, for those inspired, to take action and release their own inner bonobo, the appendix of provides a list of sites and organizations that are dedicated to helping the bonobos, and a list of zoos, reserves, sanctuaries where bonobos can be seen, and locations where bonobosapiens play.
Bonoboville | Hilton LAX
MORE HOT SUMMER READS:
Penthouse Variations on Oral. This collection of stories is available in paperback, and is sure to get you tingling with delight. Enjoy these tales about going down, and give this pleasure read to someone you love– even if that someone is you.
Penthouse Variations on Oral | Publisher: Cleis Press.
Want more Oral Pleasures? Watch: Oral Pleasures with Layla Sin | Bonoboville Cut
Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships authored by Drs. Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha is a captivating narrative that outlines the history of our sexuality. Newsweek calls it “Funny, witty, and light” and Dan Savages says it is “the single most important book about human sexuality since Alfred Kinsey unleashed Sexual Behavior in the Human Male.” What are you reading this summer?
Sex at Dawn | Publisher: Harper Perennial
Want more Sex At Dawn? Check out Sex at Dawn IV on Dr. Suzy.TV
Michael Ray De Los Angeles
© July 17, 2016. Del Rey is a Contributing Writer to the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences
Michael Ray De Los Angeles, is a Humboldt circus alumni, LGBTQ & Kink Advocate
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